Sunday, October 21, 2012

Hey! You Look Familiar...

I may be mistaken, but I feel like I find myself in the following situation much more than the average person, and I'm not quite sure what to think of it. 

When meeting new people, I'm told very frequently that I remind them of someone they know. This happens an unusual number of times. Like any good Scorpio, I want to stand out as a unique individual. I hate being lumped together with some generic crowd. Do I look average? Is there nothing special about my personality? Am I the non-celebrity version of the world's most ambiguous cute girl ever, Ashley Greene?
Seriously, every time I see a picture of this girl, I'm like, who is that?!? Once I've exhausted all other options I tell myself, oh yeah, must be Ashley Greene.
Because the nature of my job involves meeting new people on a daily basis, I'm frequently told that I look like such and such celebrity. Not to brag about how gorgeous I am (my looks speak for themselves, thank you very much!) but I've been told I resemble the following list of celebs on more than a few occasions. I personally don't feel I bear a striking resemblance to any of them (or any regular people that I've met either!) but I guess you'll have to imagine the unstoppable combination of the following ladiez for yourself: 

My comeback queen doppelgänger:
Sandra Bullock
My super spy doppelgänger:
Jennifer Garner
My Jewish doppelgänger:
Lea Michelle
My elfish doppelgänger:
Liv Tyler
My completely random doppelgänger:
Jerry Seinfeld's wife, Jessica Seinfeld! Uhhh, what? Okay...
And  before we get to my last but far from least celeb doppelgänger,  I need to share a quick story. One day while running an errand for my boss, a car on 24th Street started causing a racket. The three men inside were shouting and honking the car's horn. At first I thought it was simply typical street harassment and I ignored them. The men continued to yell in a manner that made it appear they were speaking with somebody they knew, so I assumed they spotted a friend on the street. As I walk up 6th Avenue, the car turns and follows me. The men are still yelling. This makes me go back to my original thinking, and I'm miffed at the behavior of these obnoxious men. On my way back to the office I needed to make a pitstop at Duane Reade. As I made my purchase and exited the store, I was none too pleased to find the men waiting for me outside holding a camera. At this point I'm like, YOU NEED TO BACK AWAY NOW!! The men laughed after they saw my face up close. Apparently they had thought I was this actress:
Anne Hathaway
Yup, no biggie, I'm just twinsies with one of the most gorgeous celebrities out there. Actually maybe Anne, or Annie, as her close personal friends like me call her, is shadowing ME to prepare for her next Oscar worthy performance in the upcoming drama, Memoirs of a Mold Girl. Think about that! :D

(PS, this is no joke, two summers ago, some alleged Hollywood people visited my office one day. My CEO claimed they were doing some research for a film that would be staring Mark Ruffalo and Gwenyth Paltrow. I swear, that happened. Not lying. It was a serious WTF moment. But really, what kind of movie could you make about an environmental consulting firm? Confessions of an Asbestos Inspector? How Stella got her Health Back? Eat Pray Lead? Hmm, now I really want to know what happened with that...)


Saw this on a message board outside of a Murray Hill church. Something to always keep in mind when you're feeling down. Happy Sunday! :)

Sunday, October 7, 2012

It's a Mold Thing

Oh man, just saw an advertisement for a T-shirt sporting this punny design. I realize it's referring to bacterial cultures, but you can culture mold too, guys! Let's not be culturists. 

I think this shirt needs to be my new work uniform. With "Mold Girl" printed on the back. Hot damn, I'd be a real class act in that. Just so you know, my birthday is coming up... Just sayin' ;)

Photo credits:

Subway Sightings: The Grand Central - Time Square Shuttle

I love the shuttle train between Time Square and Grand Central Station. It's the only train that the MTA allows to be completely decked out with advertising. Normally I don't particularly enjoy the usual advertising assault on my eyes (calling Dr. Zizmor!!), but I gotta hand it to marketers, they always do an awesome job with the S train. Like Katy Perry, I love a good theme! 
Wearing a Simpsons dress while making a guest appearance on the Simpsons? GENIUS
While riding the S train last week, I saw that the shuttle was seriously classed up to look like a Victorian-style home library. Note the fancy wood paneling, the plethora of collector's edition hard cover books, and the squashy armchairs that replace the usual drab subway seats. I have no idea what this was supposed to advertise, but who cares?
The armchairs were not as comfortable as the cushion decals made them appear...
Ever since I was first exposed to Disney's Beauty and the Beast, it has been a life goal of mine to have my own personal library. Preferably one with secret passageways à la Clue (the game AND the movie). 
I don't actually read, I just want people to think I'm smart

Maybe I should move to DC and become Capitol Hill's favorite madame . I bet SHE has a library!
Sadly a mold inspector's salary does not pay quite well enough to afford a library, real or fake. Once I saw a homeless man on the subway spouting off hilarious jokes about the D train being his "home". When deboarding the subway car, he told us all to clean up after ourselves because he was expecting some new guests. Maybe he was onto something... Maybe my dreams of "owning" a "library" are within reach! Look out S train, here comes the Mold Girl equipped with a shopping cart and a blatant disregard for personal space and indoor voices! 

Oh and ps, I love Clue the game, Clue the movie, and heck, I also love Clueless, so much that I once dragged my family to see Cluessical, the Clue musical. It didn't quite live up to my standards for all things Clue...
Yup, this exists. And yup, it's as bad as you'd expect it to be.

Photo credits: Disney, Beauty and the Beast, Katy Perry, The Simpsons, Clue, Clue the Musical

Oh the Irony...

I've been a bit MIA recently because I unexpectedly needed to move out of my apartment in a hurry. The past few weeks I've been running around trying to find a new apartment, and then moving into said new apartment. I ended up finding a place in Crown Heights with some former college classmates. The apartment is far from ideal, although I really like my  roommies and it's still better than the serious health code violation I escaped from. 

Despite this, I was none too happy to discover this on the ceiling of my new closet:
I'm praying this is from an old leak and that management simply never replaced the sheetrock... I'm not really into bringing my work home with me.