Sunday, August 18, 2013

For all the Carrie Bradshaws Out There

As Cinderella, Dorothy, and the cast of Sex and the City can attest, a pair of shoes can make or break an outfit. Last week I performed an inspection of a high end shoe designer's corporate office, where a pair of sneakers sells for $400 a pop. It was very exciting because I had a chance to check out the behind-the-scenes showroom as well as meet the man behind the brand himself! Our conversation consisted of "So, what's going on here?" and "Okay, bye". But still, kinda cool, right? No? Okay, fine then. Also, nobody thought to generously gift me a pair of shoes as a thank you either. Hmph. I guess that's what happens when everybody in fashion is female or gay, and there's nobody for me to sweet talk. I was a tad disappointed to say the least, but c'est la vie!
Where my fairy godmother at?
I have to wear closed-toe shoes on inspections. These would count, no?

Photo credits: Cinderella, Anne Taintor, The Wizard of Oz

Saturday, August 17, 2013

The Good Life

So I was just perusing my drafts of half written blog entries (sheesh there are a lot of them!) and came across the photos below. I totally forgot about this place! This was an inspection of a Park Avenue apartment on the Upper East Side. Its owners only spent about two weeks of the year at the place and decided to sell. I have been in my fair share of the One Percent's homes, but this place was huge. I think the apartment has at least double the space of my parent's entire house in upstate New York. The living room alone could easily  fit at least 6 copies of my bedroom inside. Word on the street informed me that the owners had purchased the place for a measly $10 mill but managed to pawn it off to its next owners for $18.5. Chump change if you ask me. Weirdly, the new owners purchased the place with all of the furnishings. Most people tend to want to do their own decorating, so that was a bit strange... But whatever, they'll probably only spend two weeks a year there as well, so why not just use the existing furniture? 

Anyway, the decorations were far from my own personal style (a bit flowery and stuffy if you ask me), but rather grand and impressive nonetheless. Below is a small sampling of what I saw:

Are those Fabergé Eggs? (Just kidding, I know they're not, but still)
I LOVE mirrored furniture. I am so totes jelly of this vanity desk!
This is what I call a princess staircase. Can you imagine picking up your prom date as she descends these stairs?? #romantical
No home is appropriately furnished without a stained glass biblical scene
The family crest?
More regal stained glass stuff. Does this remind anyone else vaguely of the crests for Ravenclaw and Griffindor?!?

You Say Tomato, I Say Thank You!

*Shudder* Macy's
Herald Square is the worst. I always thought Time Square was the worst, but I actually think Herald Square has it beat. I have no idea what the statistics are, but simply from personal experience, Herald Square may be the single most crowded area in Manhattan. First of all, there's Macy's (ewww). Don't ask me why people are attracted to that store, but apparently they are. Secondly, everybody and their mother works in Chelsea/Midtown West. I can't tell you the number of times I've run into somebody I know on the street in this hood (I actually like it when that happens, so no complaints there). And lastly but most importantly, the place is SUH-WARMING with tourists. 
Shit basically be like this, all day, er'ry day.
I need to make a PSA to all visitors of NYC: Attention! Midtown Manhattan is the absolute most boring, least fun part of NYC. Please do not waste your time walking around an area where there is literally nothing to do. The area's attractions are limited to tchotchke shops, severely mediocre and/or overpriced restaurants, and massive clothing chains found at every American mall.That's it. No need to visit.
"But it's special because it's in New York!". No, it's just got higher sales tax.
One thing that I do appreciate about this area is that Broadway plays host to a small green market every Tuesday, Wednesday, and Friday directly outside my office. Last Friday I was buying some plums and blueberries before work and fell into conversation with one of the market's vendors. As I was saying my goodbye, he gave me a free tomato! Yay! Nothing like the kindness of strangers and free vegetables to brighten your day :)
Science has shown that free tomatoes make you less ambivalent towards crowds. Although science has also shown that said free tomatoes increase the odds of you throwing them at crowds...

Photo credits: