Friday, December 14, 2012

Do we need a Meeting with HR?

My company is far from the most politically correct of organizations. This being my first big girl job out of college, my feminist self was shocked at the rather serious amount of sexism that pervades the office arena. Here I was thinking that had all died with the seventies. Unfortunately not. For instance, a colleague repeatedly told me when I first started working here, to stop flirting with all my clients. Umm, excuse me? This is how I talk. This is what friendliness and cordiality look like, asshat. We had to have several sit down conversations about what is and is not okay to say to me. Problem has been (mostly) solved.  
I can show you what it looks like when I'm NOT friendly. And trust me, you won't mistake that for flirting!
This isn't to say that I am the pinnacle of professionalism. I'm probably the most inappropriate and obnoxious person at my office. I tell myself I'm obnoxious in a totally adorable way? The other day a package came for a coworker. I accept all packages and mail, (the UPS, FedEx, and USPS guys are totally my BFFs). Printed on the box was the phrase, "miscellaneous toys". I couldn't let that one pass without making a completely inappropriate announcement to the office. Apparently inside was a figurine of some Mets player. Allegedly. Although I think that actually might be the more embarrassing package of the two options!
"Due to anonymous complaints, we are required by law to host a sensitivity seminar at the office"
A friend/colleague called me out and said I was a total asshole in response to accidentally humiliating the "miscellaneous toys" guy. He also sent me the following picture:

At the office whenever my friends (or, let's be honest, mostly me) say something inappropriate, the typical response is, "do we need to have a meeting with HR?". Well joke's on you, suckers, we don't have an HR department! No sensitivity training for me! :)

I am told this literally every day
Photo Credits: someecards, Division of Labor, The Office

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