Friday, August 10, 2012

A Dog's Life

A new business is about to open near my office. I took a picture. Notice the chic, post-modern exterior with the fancy wood paneling, few windows which seem to say "we're exclusive!", and classy stainless steel metal lettering. You may ask yourself, what is this? A high end Japanese restaurant? An new spa? A trendy hotel?

If you guessed a hotel, you are partially right. The business is a hotel. A dog hotel. Dogs only. No people.

Obviously I had to immediately Google the company. The hotel offers three levels of suites for luxury boarding, all of which include flat screen TVs. The "uber suite" includes "modern decor" and a queen sized bed. I don't even sleep in a queen sized bed! Here are some additional ammenities and services mentioned on the website:
Massage: Indulge your loved companion in a relaxing and rejuvenating full body massage
D-Wrap: A cleansing, detoxifying thermal wrap that returns your dogs body and fur to virtually a clean and healthy slate.
Classic Pawdicure:  Indulge in your favorite traditional pawdicure including a paw soak, massage, Nail trimming, buffed or polished to perfection. 
Custom doggie treadmills and personal training for dogs who need a little extra exercise.
Doesn't simply petting a dog count as a massage? Wish I could afford a pawdicure, personal trainer, or a D-wrap (whatever that is)!
I'm better than you
And the icing on the cake:
Too busy to drop your loved one off? The D-Chauffeur Service would be happy to pick up your dog from your home or office... We offer an array of vehicle choices from our standard D Pet Hotels pick-up to more luxurious options like a beautiful Southern California drive in a Ferrari 458, Lamborghini Gallardo, Bentley, Porsche or Rolls Royce.
With a FUR-rari and matching outfit like this, this dog must get all the bitchez!
I'm not sure whether to laugh or cry that a hotel like this can exist, especially in this economy. How about I compromise with some slightly disturbing hysterical laughter?
Photo credits: Someecards,

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