Monday, January 21, 2013

Jews Gone Wild

Today I saw something that I never thought I would see. Never even imagined. Shit got real. Really real. 

In New York, it's not uncommon to come across a van full of Orthodox Jews spreading the good word about how awesome it is to be a Jew. I love when it's Hanukkah and they hand out free menorahs and doughnuts. I've seen the Mitzvah Mobile, or "Jew Canoe" as we say in my family, on more than several occasions over the years, especially since I've lived in two of Brooklyn's heavily Hassidic neighborhoods. 
Ask you annnyythinggg? Yeah, you're prob gonna regret that by the end of our conversation...
This is how us Jews keep it pimpin'
I've never seen more than a single mitzvah mobile at a time. Until today. This afternoon I was making my way back to the office, and legit saw about thirty vans and trailer trucks speeding up Sixth Avenue all adorned with this banner:
When I say speeding, I mean speeding. We're talking about the vans not even bothering to stop for red lights. They refused to close ranks for reds as they blasted celebratory Jewish music at top volume. Come on people, Moshiach is here! There's no time for red lights!! 

I was personally almost run over when attempting to legally cross the street (for once I wasn't even jaywalking) before I realized what was going on. I thought their message of "just add in goodness and kindness" was a tad ironic given that the group almost committed several hit-and-runs. To add to this madness,  five or six cop cars were following the unsanctioned parade, sirens wailing and all, trying to stop this major traffic violation. The Jewish crusaders weren't having it. They kept on going. Obviously if Moshiach is more important than red lights, he's most certainly more important than the measly popo! Duh!
Please enjoy this educational video. It's informational and highly entertaining!


(If anyone's wondering, I'm Jewish, so this post is 100% A-Okay and anything I say can't be considered racist, so there.  :p)

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